Monday, October 8, 2012

permission to kill the kids

Like any red-blooded parent anywhere, I will admit there were times when I would happily have put my children to death. No doubt my parents felt the same about me. It's a long-standing human tradition, I imagine, and it may be a miracle that any of us survived beyond the conniption years.

But now, in true Republican spirit, an Arkansas lawyer running for office has endorsed the death penalty for rebellious kids. It would all be held within reasoned and reasoning limits, of course ... you couldn't just slice 'em and dice 'em on a whim. But still, since the family is the foundation of civil order in our society, and since Charlie Fuqua can adduce biblical evidence for the practice ... well, it's time to take off the kid gloves.

The maintenance of civil order in society rests on the foundation of family discipline. Therefore, a child who disrespects his parents must be permanently removed from society in a way that gives an example to all other children of the importance of respect for parents. The death penalty for rebellious children is not something to be taken lightly. The guidelines for administering the death penalty to rebellious children are given in Deut 21:18-21:
Fuqua used to be a lawyer for the Arkansas Department of Human Services, so you might imagine he was a kindly man ... even a Christian. But Charlie seems to have taken up with gusto the latter-day Republican version of Christianity ... all nasty and mean and parsimonious and strict as a ruler-toting school marm.

All I can think is, "You can't make this shit up."

Just be patient and the Republicans will do it for you.

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