I don't know how it is for anyone else, but one of the imperatives in my life is to help out where I can. To the extent that this inclination is neurotic in nature, still it may be -- but only may be -- a less harmful neurosis than many. Some people even make a profession out of it. Bah!
What surprises me sometimes is that those whom I have helped believe that I have helped them. Instead of finding out for themselves if the imagined help is actually helpful, they linger on the apparent source of that help. And if it's off the mark to imagine someone else might help, how much worse is it to imagine and nest in the idea that I am somehow a helper. Gawd!
I guess it's a koan for one and all. There is help, but who is helping and who is helped is often confused with the bedrock source of that help. A sense of cozy or inspiring helplessness is invariably the result.
It's all worth considering I think.